Is Pirates worth it?

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End last night. Am not really one for huge Hollywood blockbusters, wasn’t too excited about seeing it, but it wasn’t bad. Entertaining, did get bored in parts (mostly due to its 168 minute running time) but then jumped back on the entertained train often enough. There were lots of threads going on continuously, which probably accounted for why I didn’t stay bored for long periods, but also contributed to why I didn’t like it.

But everything in this film just screamed money to me. Every frame, every sequence, every set, costume, every computer imaged landscape. Every minute that a computer had to generate movement in Bill Nighy’s tentacle-beard would have, I imagine, cost thousands of dollars. A production budget of US$300 million, and sure, it’s already grossed $700 million in box-office revenue worldwide, but that doesn’t account for its expenditure in my book. Money being thrown around, almost.

Plus, the film is just not that great. Loved the first one, but by this stage (I missed the second) the only real appeal of seeing this over a repeat viewing of the first is to see several Johnny Depps (and his eyeliner) at once.  Definately don’t go to see the ‘exotic’ female ‘goddess’ Calypso, with an accent as bad (and made up) as Kendra’s in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and makeup (‘bodyart’, no doubt) as offputting as anything. And don’t go for the über-cliché of the mid-battle wedding proposal/ceremony. It’s just far too much.

Will kids like it? Probably enough of them have seen it by now for me to be able to ask one, but I don’t know any, so I’lljust make my own analysis. Maybe they’ll be impressed, maybe they’ll be drawn in by the action, but as far as much of the story goes, it would probably fly far over their heads. Too much detail, too much for little minds to focus on, remember, absorb, for all of the minutes of the film and all of the money wasted on it to be worth it.

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About cinemelo

I love to write about film and comment on culture. Hopefully providing insight and interesting thoughts for fellow cultural itinerants.
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3 Responses to Is Pirates worth it?

  1. pomotofu says:

    caveat: I should really be writing essays. I did the good-brother thing and saw this with a thirteen-year-old Depp afficionada.
    Given she is able to watch the first and second films end to end repeatedly all day, I wasn’t surprised that she loved this one too. Again, the multiple Depps were a highlight.
    You’re right: the “crossed-swords-in-sand-as-metaphor-for-hot-Bloom-versus-Knightley-action” went over her head. Don’t worry, we had a lovely conversation about symbolism afterwards.

  2. Dali says:

    Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End is the worst film I have ever seen.

    The funniest slash most entertaining part was when Kiera Knightly did that femenist speech to rally the men. I just wanted to punch her and scream THAT’S THE GLASS CEILING TALKING, BITCH!!! No I didn’t really.

    For a great review of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 by a ninja that is equally applicable to the third installment, check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RSofwlndC0

  3. Pingback: Hey Disney, I like your old stuff better than your new stuff | this is cinemelo

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